Numb
by Angelchloe
Summary: Ichigo continuously loved and lost (whether it was family, friends or relationships) everyone left him. He grew sick of and swore to himself that he'd never love again for as long as he lives. He had never opened up his heart to anyone after that but, was that about to change? - Yaoi. Don't like, don't click. GrimIchi.
1. Chapter 1

I am not sure whether, or not, I will continue this with more chapters (*giggles* I have the what will happen in the next chapters ready in my head). But, that all depends on whether anyone asks me to, as I was thinking of adding lemon but we'll see.

Lastly, sorry if I have made any mistakes because it's my first time writing. So, yeah... read on and review please, thank you.

* * *

The warm, golden rays of sun shine down, illuminating the reflective puddles scattered around the cracked, cement pavement. A peaceful morning soon to be disrupted by a cacophonous siren wailing in the background of people's intense, enthusiastic screams and cheers.

People of all ages - from babies to teenagers to adults and, believe it or not, there was actually the odd elderly couple too - queuing for the rumoured "best rides in town". Herded along, while their parents held their hands with a strong, vice-like grip, toddlers with blue-stained mouths, eat new flavours of candy floss with one leg dragging behind them.

An assortment of distant, distinctive noises blared. Noises from brand-new rides clattering along the tracks for their test-rides to the vast, array of music coming from each ride, blending into one droning song with one back beat. The bass was vibrating through your body, almost in sync with your own pulsing heart.

Hearing his name called from behind, Ichigo slowly turned round with a slightly puzzled look on his face.

_BEEP. BEEP. BEEP._

Gasping in shock, Kurosaki Ichigo jerked himself up into a sitting position. His orange hair was as messy as ever. Turning to his alarm clock, which was currently beeping non-stop, instead of pressing the 'snooze' or 'stop alarm' button, he unplugged it... No more extremely rude interruptions from _that_ now. He looked out of his window to see the sun force an intruding entry into the Kurosaki household. His eyes squinting, not yet prepared to the look towards the brightness head-on.

Ichigo let out a groan as he realised he had to get up because of what day it is; the day of the opening of Karakura's new Amusement park. He had been invited to visit the park at the opening, by his friends, as everything – other than the food and drink - was free for the first day.

Reluctant to remove himself from his warm, delightful and comfortable bed, he unsteadily rose. Swaying from side to side, looking like he was about to topple over, he gradually made his way to his cupboard which he stored his clothes. He grabbed his blue, torn denim jeans, a white, long-sleeved t-shirt with an artistic black cross on and his favourite grey hoodie. He got dressed, quickly combed though his hair and then went to his bathroom. Ichigo forcefully snatched his toothbrush and toothpaste, and with one movement, he squeezed the toothpaste tube, spreading a layer of thick toothpaste over the Brussels of the brush. He brushed his teeth, picked up his money then headed out.

Once Ichigo left his home, he was greeted by many people from the neighbourhood

"Hello Ichigo, are you doing okay today?" inquired a shopkeeper, who was just around the corner from Ichigo's home.

"Yeah," he walked away trying to keep his convocation short. He didn't like to socialise much.

* * *

**~*~*~ AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK ~*~*~**

The siren wailed signalling everyone to enter.

At the Amusement Park, his friends, whom had invited him, had already arrived...

_But why didn't they tell me they had all brought dates? Now I will just be a third wheel. You know what they say: 'Two's company, Three's a crowd' _**(also, four's a double date and five is a gang bang ;P )**

_...Okay, if I sneak past them, without them noticing, I can just go in by myself. Wait! No! _**(Shakes head uncontrollably like his head's going to fall off \O.O/) **_I can't just do that! They'll think I've stood them up. I, at least, need to __**ACT**__ polite and go to tell them I'll go and walk around on my own... I'm sure they'll understand. Even though, they most likely did it on purpose. In fact, I know they did._

Uncertain, whether he wanted to go and talk to them, Ichigo slowly walks over to his friends with a feeling of anxiousness.

"Hey, what's up?" Ichigo questioned with a kind of quaky voice... But he still had his smile composed across his face.

*laugh of mockery from group*

"Well, what d'ya know, he actually came..." One of his so-called friends declared.

Ichigo's inner feeling of anxiousness, which was covered by the outwards smile he always wore as a mask, had changed to shock. But his outwards appearance seemed as though he half expected it.

"I know! What an idiot!" another one of his **ex-friends** stated.

"Why, thank you," Ichigo said with what looked like a kind grin on his face. "So I take it I was unmistaken about you doing this on purpose and with ulterior motives, which would mean I am not this so-called 'idiot' I am hearing a lot about... Just an idea but maybe, just maybe... you have the wrong person? And just to clarify, I only came here today to inquire if my assumption was correct, which, in _**this**_ case, it _**was**_. Also, before I fail to remember, if you think _**I**_ am the idiot, I would suggest you try to figure out what I just said without picking up a dictionary because books don't look like they'd be your forte. So maybe I'll see you around, but hopefully I never have to see those foul and unattractive faces of yours ever again. Seriously, your faces gave me nightmares every time I saw them..." Ichigo began to walk away - realising almost all of the visitors at the amusement park were staring: intrigued - when he slowly rotated his upper body to face his ex-friends and, with disgust in his tone, he cursed, "Bastards." And with that, he made his way to a food stand to buy a Jumbo hotdog. Still with a grin plastered on his face, he sat on a bench nearby to continue eating his hotdog.

_*Laughs* I always knew it would end up like this. It always does... They leave me; One by one. Everyone eventually leaves. You would think I would be used to it by now but it never gets __**TOO**__ old. I just learn to hide my emotions from everyone and act happy every moment of every day. It helps me live without pain and regret. I like this way of living; I don't have to worry about anyone anymore, not even myself. It's the same process over and over:_

_You meet someone. You get close. It's all great for a while. Then someone stops trying or does something wrong. You talk less, leading to awkward conversations. Then you start drifting apart. No communication whatsoever. Memories start to fade. Then that person you know becomes the person you KNEW._

_That's how it usually goes, right? Sad isn't it?_

_Everyone leaves sooner of later and to be honest I think it's better sooner than later so you can never have an attachment to anyone._

Out of the corner of his eye, Ichigo saw an extremely hot guy sit down beside him on the bench. He turned to meet his gaze with an eyebrow raised, questioning who he was and why he decided to sit there, next to _**him**_ of all people. The guy sat there silently for a while before opening his mouth to speak.

"Errm, My name is Grimmjow, Grimmjow Jaggerjack" He said whilst he looked at him worried in case he didn't answer.

"Yeah, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki... So, what's up?" Ichigo questioned trying to carry on the convocation without being awkward.

"Well, I saw you sitting here and you looked kind of upset and depressed... So-" and before Grimmjow could carry on, he was interrupted by Ichigo.

"What are you talking about? I'm not upset OR depressed. Can you see this smile on my face?"

"Yeah..."

"That shows I'm hap-" This time, Ichigo was the one cut off.

"You shouldn't lie to yourself. I can tell that you aren't on cloud nine; no where near it."

Ichigo's eyes shot open as he tried to understand this situation and what had just happened.

_What?! This is the first time anyone has ever been able to distinguish my emotions after I began to hide them. How did he know how I truly felt?! Who is he?!_

As Ichigo stared at him in shock, a tear slowly rolled down his cheek and dropped down onto his lap and just when he'd realised that he had started to cry uncontrollably, he felt a warm surface embrace him. He looked up, only to find Grimmjow holding him in his arms. He lifted his hand to Ichigo's eyes to wipe his tears away.

_Should I trust him? There is no problem if this leads to a relationship with him, right? After all, I already came out of the closet __**long **__ago... _

Ichigo looked up, once again, then wrapped his arms around Grimmjow tight and gave a blissful smile.

"So, I know this is totally of topic but, why are you here by yourself?" Ichigo asked out of curiosity.

"Well, I came here with my friends because they thought it would be a good idea to try to cheer me up after my boyfriend dumped me.*Laughs* It was a while ago that he dumped me and they wouldn't believe that I was fine with out him. But, I still can't believe that they left me" Grimmjow admitted.

"What?!" Ichigo questioned in astonishment.

"Yeah, they left me... Can you believe it?"

"No. Not that. Back up a bit! What did you say before that?" Ichigo corrected himself.

"Oh! That my boyfriend dumped me?"

"Eh?! You're gay?" Ichigo enquired in disbelief.

"Yeah, why are you asking? Are you interested?" Grimmjow asked, hinting and almost insisting.

Ichigo felt his heart race ,as well as, heat rising to his face as he began to blush and, as a result to this, he instinctively turned his head to face the opposite direction trying to avoid the question.

_What am I doing?! I need to get a hold of myself! I had promised myself I would never __**TRULY**__ love again. How can I fall in love at a time like this? And especially with a guy I have just met!_

Just as that train of thought had passed by, Ichigo felt Grimmjow's hand grab at his chin and turn him back around so they were facing each other; gazing into each others eyes. He leaned in towards Ichigo's ear and brushed his hair behind. His breathe on his ear; tingling and making an immense amount of heat travel down to Ichigo's bottom half.

"I know we have only just met but, I think I love you, Ichigo. Can we, _**please**_, try and start a relationship?" He whispered gently into Ichigo's ear, causing him to tense up and drop his arms at his sides just at the sound of it. "I'm sorry, if I crossed the line and you don't want to... I'll understand." He continued.

Without warning, Ichigo unconsciously wrapped his arms around Grimmjow. Tears streaming down his face and he whispered back:

"P-please... Please, just don't leave me." Ichigo stuttered as Grimmjow leaned down and gently kissed him on his forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay... So I decided to carry this on and

WARNING: Non-Yaoi fans LEAVE NOW!

Soooo yeah... I forgot to do this in the last chapter so here it is:

Disclaimer: Ok. So there I was, cleaning my toilet like a normal UK citizen... When I suddenly had a flash of inspiration. *INSERT LIGHTBULB*  
So, I ran to the Post office and mailed a letter. That letter was titled '**69** reasons why I should own Bleach'. However, just like my Hogwarts letter (which if any of you have, then please return it to me... o.O), my mail was displaced.  
I have yet to receive a reply from the owner of Bleach. And I _know_ he isn't ignoring me. He better blooming well not be. I don't do well being ignored.

**_ANSWER MY LETTER YOU BLEACH-WRITING, IDEA-STEALING *******!_**

Phew... Now thats over with and I'm calm, I'd just like point out that **I DONT OWN ANYTHING...**

YET

HEHE... MWAHAHAHAHA!

And that I was only joking ;P

* * *

Ichigo woke up, still lying down in bed, feeling great for the first time in years. He vaguely remembered meeting Grimmjow, the first person to ever truly acknowledged him and understand his emotions to the fullest.

_Hmm? I can't remember. Why can't I remember?! Was it __**all **__just a dream?... *Laughs* I knew it; nothing like that could ever happen. No-one coul_d_ ever __**truly **__understand. No-one could ever truly know my emotions, __**never mind**__ understanding me... I-_

_NO! It wasn't a dream, I know it wasn't. It can't have been!... At least I hope not._

Ichigo tried to remember what happened last night, resulting in an unpleasant migraine.

_Please say it was real and that it wasn't just my hopes or my imagination running wild. I'm hoping, with all of my heart, that it wasn't just me dreaming of a non-existing happiness. If it's not real, I think my heart will shatter, it can't take it anymore... The pressure's too much for me now after everything that's already happened._

After a few moments of trying to recollect his memories, his efforts were paying off little by little_. _

_I think - I think I'm starting to remember! I'm really glad that it __**was**__ real. If it wasn't, I don't know how I'd have coped with the ever-lasting pain._

**~*~*~FLASHBACK-START~*~*~**

"I know we have only just met but, I think I love you, Ichigo. Can we, _**please**_, try and start a relationship?" He whispered into Ichigo's ear, causing him to tense up and drop his arms at his sides just at the sound of it. "I'm sorry, if I crossed the line and you don't want to... I'll understand." He continued.

Without warning, Ichigo unconsciously wrapped his arms around Grimmjow. Tears streaming down his face and he whispered back:

"P-please... Please, just don't leave me." Ichigo stuttered as Grimmjow leaned down and gently kissed him on his forehead.

"Okay, I won't ever leave you're side. Not now, not ever." Grimmjow replied with reassuring smile while he began to lift both himself and Ichigo to a stand. "Now, should we go somewhere else? Because this kind of place doesn't suit me well" Grimmjow give a bit of an awkward laugh as he looked around him, hearing and the blaring of the rides' songs and screaming of people on the new rides merging together to create a noise that, when listening, anyone would instinctively cover their ears, not really blocking the sound out, just muffling it.

Ichigo laughed at the sight of Grimmjow looking uncomfortable and fidgeting a bit, as if he had sat on a bunch of sharp pins layered out all over the floor and had no other alternative.

"What? What's so funny?" He questioned the red head with a look of embarrassment - not yet at the stage of blushing - on his face.

Wiping his eyes, as he felt tears forming from laughing too much, Ichigo replied while stuttering a bit, recovering from his laughing fit "Oh, I-it's nothing. S-so where d-did you have in mind?"

Grimmjow, now regaining his oh-so-sexy posture, gave a sly, know-it-all wink when he grabbed Ichigo's hand to pull him along. "You'll see"

_This is nice. Walking hand-in-hand like a proper couple would... I want this blissful moment to last forever._

All of the way to this unknown place, it was completely silent between the two while their hands were intertwined with one another's. However, it was a nice, soothing silence, which didn't feel awkward at all. Ichigo didn't even realise when they had arrived at their destination.

"Earth to Ichigo! Come in! Ichigo. Are. You. There?" The familiar voice joked as Ichigo snapped out of his peaceful trance and looked up innocently at the slightly taller man.

"Eh?"

"Am I **that** boring that you weren't paying **any** attention?" Grimmjow sighed then playfully flicked the red head on his forehead which he answered with an overly exaggerated flinch. The taller man got a little worried about him but, instead of giving him a full on interrogation, he decided it to be best to forget about it.

"It's nothing... I was just thinking happy thoughts" The carrot top claimed with a grin plastered across his face, from one side to the other.

"Oh, yeah? What about?"

The silence stretched across time itself, while Ichigo decided whether, or not, to be honest with his new boyfriend. He decided for being honest as he couldn't lie to someone who had only been nice to him the whole time and also, for the ultimate pleasure of seeing his reaction.

"You" Answering honestly, he made the older man's cheeks turn a pretty rosy colour, which he didn't really expect.

Coughing awkwardly, whilst trying to keep his normal, relaxed posture, Grimmjow tried to change the subject to the fact that they had reached the destination a while ago.

"So... If you still haven't realised yet, we had got here a while ago but, obviously, you weren't paying any attention, _**at all" **_Grimmjow informed the smaller man, while emphasising the last two words, so he knew he had got through to his new boyfriends head.

Ichigo looked up at what stood currently in front of him and looked shocked for a moment. Just one split second.

"A gay bar?! Are you kidding me?"

"You aren't _**man**_ enough to hold your alcohol?" He asked, challenging, as a smirk began to form upon his face.

Ichigo's mouth twitched, in agitation, as he was very competitive.

"Actually, I can handle my alcohol very well and if you're challenging me then it's a deal"

They would walked into the bar with smug looks on their face, that said 'I never loose', then the door closed behind them.

* * *

**I'm so sorry for how my writing turned into dog crap on the road that someone stood in and trampled it away. : '( It's just my inspiration was flushed down the toilet with the wipe that removed the dog crap from that person's shoe and... and... and I'm just sooo sorry. :'( Please forgive me and the dog crap... Please don't hunt us down with pitch forks and PLEASE don't send me to Heaven. :'( Lastly, I promise I will at least try to finish it soon, that is, unless you don't want me to... errm review?**

**_P.S._ I just thought I'd warn you that if you _NEVER_ see any new stories or hear from me again, my computer has officially taken my life. It is currently out to get me. Firstly, it over-heated on my arm when I fell asleep, causing it to severely burn my arm and peel my skin off and now it just gave me a mini-heart attack when it fucked up and I thought I'd lost this finished version. Deadly serious here though, I felt tears threatening to fall. In conclusion, I'd just like to say goodbye to you all, my life has been good... :'(.**


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